Couples

Couples run into challenges as a normal part of relationship. Getting support at challenging times can make the difference between a relationship mired in conflict, and one filled with love and understanding. My goal is to provide you with tools that you can use now, and long after the difficult phase has passed. I offer a four-part approach to couples’ work.

Learn communication tools such as Nonviolent Communication (NVC), Meta-Communication, Active Listening and others to build empathy and understanding between partners. Most couples can really benefit from learning simple, useful tools for communication and practicing them together. Once the tools are learned in the office, it can be very exciting to see issues that would have gotten quite out of hand get resolved lovingly with conscious communication. With good communication tools, trust and safety are built. This is the foundation for empathy and intimacy, which in turn create satisfaction and fulfillment.

I use a mindfulness-based and body-centered process with you and your partner to uncover and heal the deeper layers of what is happening in the challenging moments (Hakomi). This work is very gentle, but profound. Partners are facilitated in relating in the office within an atmosphere of openness, gentleness and a welcoming attitude toward discovering the underlying unconscious meanings and beliefs behind feelings and behavior.

I also use EMDR and Brainspotting to work through trigger points from the past that affect the present, such as childhood trauma, painful past relationships and repeated conflicts. EMDR/Brainspotting is an amazing tool for getting to the bottom of reactivity, understanding where it comes from, and breaking the patterns quickly and permanently. The most challenging moments in relationship are when we “push each other’s buttons.” This is a tool for clearing those buttons, so we can respond consciously and logically, rather than from unconscious reactivity.

Learn your Enneagram types and how they interact with each other to understand yourself, your partner, and the relationship dynamics. This is a personality typing system with a lot of depth. It describes core motivations, unconscious needs, basic life strategies, responses to stress and tools for growth. It is a tool for self-development, higher consciousness and freedom.

I also bring a lot of understanding of current developments in brain science which is essential to understanding the power of cycles of reactivity and how to interrupt them. I also help couples work on underlying forces such as food sensitivities or gut issues which can be physical foundations for reactivity or mood issues.

With this approach old wounds are healed, awareness of self and partner is enhanced, and communication becomes more effective. The potential for personal and spiritual growth becomes clear as the journey unfolds. More time is spent enjoying your relationship as conflict gives way to understanding.

“Julisa has worked with us to learn tools for dealing with emotions in a productive and positive manner and being able to communicate about important things. We have found EFT to be very helpful and making it through one of the hardest years of our lives. We use NVC techniques a lot to avoid fighting and have more productive conversations. Julisa has helped us understand ourselves and each other and break out of a negative cycle that is damaging for our relationship and the kids”.

-N. Lafayette
“I have become more aware of personality types which has allowed me to really understand friends, co-workers and family members on a much deeper level. I am so much more compassionate, professional and have more real relationships with these people. Julisa is a kind, compassionate, non-judgemental therapist. We have worked through both current and past issues, thought patterns, and personality traits to the point where I am increasingly more aware and able to solve my own negative patterns. My entire being is much more integrated and accepting of myself and others.”

– Tracy, Niwot